WOW you have so much on your plate! ((((safe hug)))))

Ok now b r e a t h e... you have done well by handling your frustrations and disappointments over the last 2 years without harming yourself this way. You don't need to revert back to that way of coping, right?

With all the circumstances happening, I'm concerned with why you think it will be YOUR fault if anything else happens. You are already putting your health and your income on the line by also working. Why can't you see that the circumstances of your spouse's illness and loss of income have contributed to this now?

IDK the whole situation with the mortgage company. I do have to doubt that you have used all the resources available to you to keep the house. (go to www.suzeorman.com for free advice.. search for it) Have you called a different financial institution to find out other recourses of action? Often they are very creative with financing. You are not alone in this, many in the country are having similar difficulties. The banks can't take all the houses back, as they don't have ppl to buy them all. They would much rather help you keep it and pay them

Even with that, if you are so maxed and have no one to help you figure this out, losing your house is NOT the end of the world. It does change your life, but it won't end it.

You must share your depression with your MD. What you are going through can also be post partum depression, and that won't get better by itself. (It's caused by the hormonal upheaval from having that precious child )

BREATHE. Keep posting if it helps you focus on alternatives to harming yourself. You can do this, I see how strong you are through your writing.