It sounds like you may have an addiction on top of SI'ing. I can't drink because each and every time I try to commit suicide. Please find a therapist you can talk to so you don't have those "Oh ****, eww" moments when waking.
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Dx:
Me- SzA
Husband- Bipolar 1
Daughter- mood disorder+
Comfortable broken and happy
"So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk
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