Quote:
Originally Posted by CantExplain
Is a therapist the same as a lawyer? It is not immediately obvious to me that this is the case. I would be really interested to hear Stopdog's take on that.
If this is purely a professional relationship, then the logical course of action would be to terminate T and find one who is more agreeable. (I'm even talking like Stopdog!) Because T's opinion is not universal among her profession. I have seen articles on the internet stating categorically that a permanent power struggle damages the therapeutic relationship and the therapist is responsible for making sure it doesn't happen.
However, if T is family, I will stick by her no matter what.
That's the question my heart must answer. Is T family? So the title question is supremely relevant.
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I think there's a difference between an interaction in which both parties are acting in a dysfunctional way, thereby creating a power struggle; and an interaction in which one person chooses to view the interaction as a power struggle simply because the other person maintains a position.
A true power struggle assumes an emotional investment on both sides to meet personal needs, and that would be counter-therapeutic. I don't see your T as engaging in this way.
I think you've accurately defined your disgruntled feelings as fantasy unfulfilled. It repeats itself over and over again in a variety of disguises, but it's the same basic struggle: T can never fill your need.
So the issue becomes: how do you want to address this? Change Ts until the honeymoon phase ends in rupture? Continue to fight and rack up a series of grievances that can never be resolved? Continue to substitute the distraction of ruptures for engagement in the scary work of healing?
What is the final ultimatum?
I think the most important existential challenge we each face with adulthood is the fundamental recognition that we exist alone. That realization can shake us to our core; therapy can be one way to help navigate that realization, if we are willing to let it.