Dear T,

I wish you could honestly tell me it would be okay to quit pretending that everything is okay. To quit smiling and going on with life as if nothing is wrong. It's one thing to do it for my kids as I don't want to worry them, but it's exhausting to do it for everyone else. You tell me to just go ahead and do it, let it all out, but I just can't. If everyone around me knew just how bad my chronic pain truly is or now, about my eating disorder, I just couldn't face it. I don't want looks of pity or even to hear that I'm putting my family through another health crisis. Trust me, it's been 5 years since my nerve pain started. I know what I've put them through. And now you add my ED to the mix, I just can't do it. But I'm exhausted. Physically and mentally. I just can't take this anymore. I'm really afraid to tell you just how much.

On one brighter note, I'm glad we're seeing each other twice a week right now. You're helping me see the light on at least getting in for the assessment at the ED clinic. It still scares the heck out of me, but with your guidance, I'll get there. So thank you for that. My DH thanks you too.