Your posts sound like you are depressed not manic... when I am depressed I believe all kinds of bad things about myself that are not true. I think this may be the same for you - the illness is lying to you so that you only see the bad things and not the good things about you. Also when you are sick that can mess with your mood too.

Especially if you don't have a pdoc then you should check for interaction with the pharmacist with all new meds and lithium cos some antihistamines shouldn't be mixed with lithium because they can elevate serotonin and cause serotonergic syndrome which is nasty.

While it would be great to see a pdoc or T, if thats not possible try keeping a journal and try to process and challenge your thought in that. I find that it can be almost as good as a therapy session at getting to the root of the problem with my thinking. Look online for methods for challenging bad thoughts and other coping strategies.

Would it help to get a pill dispenser to help you remember your meds or maybe to set an alarm for when you need to take them.

I'm thinking of you and hope you feel better soon