Thanks, I love you guys. It's hard to think people will understand given so many don't. Especially when I started at 8 with no trauma to "trigger" it. Even T doesn't understand but she understands addiction and equates it to that. I printed out an article for T that explains me to a tee when I was younger.

Also MM not to be pushy but yes if you are taking in such little fluids and not enough food you can die. I know but I've gripped on to it whole heartily. To the point that I "branded" myself with a pro-ED symbol recently. I don't feel a clinic will help and the nutritionist looked at me like I had three heads. which so did not help. Yes, I use to drink up to 20 oz of mountain dew a day. Now, only enough for my meds and if I eat a "meal" which is usually around ever other day and I'm still average weight. I didn't think about a yoga class. We have a new studio that I may be able to afford 2x a month. So that's worth checking into for myself and son.

I told my husband that I would go and re-do all the ED related medical tests. His response was whatever. In his defense he realized the whole lack of fluids and razors within 24 hrs of each other. That's why you don't go snooping through peoples stuff. I need to remind my husband about our 6 month rule about any major decisions. He's so scared and it comes out as anger which doesn't help with me being so defensive about this topic. One of the problems is he has the opposite issue but "can take medicine" (his words) for the health effects. It doesn't help that he blames everything on himself.

He's beyond mad at my T but I realize posting this T thinks I'm in a far better spot than I am. She treads lightly because the mental health system has not worked for me in all 18 yrs I've been trying to get help and does not want me to just shut down. I need to sit down with him and our T's and make a plan. It'll probably start with IV fluid. She's getting the OP too. Bipolar really makes it so much harder. As far as my meds contributing I think they do a lot because hunger is a very new and freaky feeling. Along with the feeling everyone's trying to rip this away from me. Pdoc wasn't happy when I asked him to change meds because it makes me hungry

I really need to get Gatorade or pedialyte and a multi-vitamin. Boost isn't covered even with a prescription.

I hope this does not upset you, I really just want you to be safe. It doesn't upset me at all that's why I posted here because this board is like one big awesome family
that is it talking right now It's so hard to remember.

Okay enough sharing on my part right now.

MM