Quote:
Originally Posted by sittingatwatersedge
Torn, ouch this is painful!! Forgive me if I don't know but how long have 38 sessions taken? could be 8-9 months, or twice that long. And is this the first T you've seen? with T1 it took me more than 9 months just to open up.
this is all pain talking (and is very understandable).  I hope that you can turn to other things and let this session & email process internally for a few days, and not spiral out over it. |
Thanks SAWE. I see this T twice a week, so it's only been a few short months but intense all the same. Sadly she's not the first T I've seen (ironic laugh there, as I've seen many many Ts in my lifetime).
Thanks for the suggestions because though I have another email all written and ready to send, I'm aware that I'm reacting now out of an intensely negative emotional state and it's quite possible that my own projections and fears and past patterns are operating here. So I'm holding off sending my second email until I've had a few responses here and maybe seen different aspects that others could suggest. Can't follow your advice about not spiralling though, way too late, I've been going round and round the spiral since last night
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To be honest, my whole being seems to think that this T has just pulled the rug - I have this sense that if I override my negative feelings about her and go ahead and keep trying to trust her, I'm repeating an extremely destructive past pattern - continuing to have faith in an adult/authority figure who actually destroyed me. It terrifies the hell out of me!