"It sounds like you are confused about what really happened - but not confused that something happened"
I think you're right. But I want details. Ive always told T, if it wasn't my dad I wouldn't need to know, I could just go with my gut feeling.But it is my dad. I have to know or I will never believe it. Just continue feeling like a pinball going back and forth.

"How do you act when you're lying vs when you're telling the truth? Their going silent and sticking their noses in their sandwiches sounds evasive to me."
Ya, its always stuck in my mind. Not how I pictured an innocent dad responding.

Did you read noreasontolive's post this weekend, where he called his mother and confronted her? So powerful to read about. No, i didnt..I couldnt find it when I looked....was it in the psychotherapy forum?

Usually they have had many years, assuming that they are aware of what they did-- I think that some may have dissociated it away. Im afraid this could be the case. He drank alot when I was younger....I never really noticed him being drunk but he always had a beer in hand. Now as im older I see the difference between when he's sober and when he's drunk. He claims to not remember some of the inappropriate behavior I questioned him on.

But you can also believe your truth no matter what he says. You don't need his affirmation in what happened in order to heal from what you remember.
I dont know what my truth is though.I feel like I will never have a truth because I dont know for sure.