Thanks too Stopdog. I'm getting out of sequence here I'd better start typing shorter replies. I'm glad too that you would find the 'if' bothersome - I see it as not being apologetic at all, oh I'm so sorry IF you felt bad (meaning, it's all in your head I haven't done anything to 'make' you feel bad.) Had she said, I'm sorry THAT I kept jumping in', I'd have felt understood and supported.

I seem to be veering between wanting to believe she means well, to seeing her as the therapist from the seventh level of hell

Funny how you see the walking on eggshells comment as quite positive, I must go and think about that, maybe I can extract something from it to use on my own behalf (ie be appreciative about it, and make sure she continues to walk on eggshells - I suppose it's because she means it pejoratively, that it's a negative thing, and I've bought into that...)