Yes, my T too left for the Christmas break in the middle of our chaos and it was horrible because it's not really possible to clear up something so big in one session. She's gone again now and things aren't fully resolved, so I'm hanging on again.

She did accept that she made big mistakes and she is sorry that she's caused so much pain. She thinks our relationship is better (deeper) because of the mistakes. I think I still feel like I'm walking on eggshells and waiting for the next disaster to strike.

But yes, in the past we have worked through many mistakes. Though many of them were me over reading things, misinterpreting things, or having a huge reaction to her forgetting something smaller. This last series of mistakes were far more serious than that.

I don't think a therapist being honest about feeling the need to keep trying is about them giving up though. Some therapists do approach things in that way by sharing their experience. My therapist spoke about learning to be a T and being uncomfortable with silences and learning that it was actually okay to say those things out, like "I'm struggling to think of what to say to you right now". I don't see those sorts of things as incompetence, just because they share their experience. That comment may be because someone is really difficult to engage with and maybe it's also something they struggle with in the rest of their life.

Those sorts of things help me, although at first they made me uncomfortable. If my therapist says she feels stuck and doesn't know how to help me, then I realise clearly why things have felt so difficult between us. She's struggling to find a way forwards too (it's not like it's all me misperceiving things). I also appreciate the honesty and from there I can find out why she's feeling stuck. What she's not getting from me that she needs in order to help me move forwards. It gives me a chance to talk about my side of things and what I need.