Definiately get marriage counceling. I have been where you are. My H and I have been in marriage counceling 9 or 10 months now. It is FINAILLY starting to help. I was in a past sexually abusive relationship, then met my H and have been in a mentally and emotionally abusive relationship of 18 years.

The T (therepy) has helped SO much. It helped me gain stregnth, and not to be so fearful. It has helped my H see he was an ***. I think he is finially starting to wee. Just a few short weeks ago I was at the point of geting a lawyer and the T had a session w/ just him, and explained the reality and severity of the problem at hand. This past 2 weeks have been better. I hope it continues. I have my guard up though. IT is not usually successsful. SO I know how you feel. If you think he is willing to go to T and work on things then I would let him stay.