>> what you sought support for was your unhappiness that you couldn't boss your child around and have the outcome be what you wanted it to be. And your T tried to get you to focus on the things that you can control and perhaps to understand that parenting for the purpose of bossing your kid around might not be the best way to enhance your relationship with her.
there, that was the elusive thought I never could pin down. Thanks Anne.

>> Maybe she wanted you to feel that it was okay to not be able to control your child (or anyone else, like her maybe?), that your world wouldn't end, that you'd still be the same powerful person with all the same competent and loveable qualities even if someone refuses to be bossed around by you.
If you were me, CE (yes, a big stretch I know), this comment would stop me in my tracks. I'd have to give it a lot of thought.

Someone commented that there seems to be a lot of criticism in this thread - I hope you don't feel that way. PC forum gives the opportunity for the same comment to strike a lot of very different ears, and as a consequence, the OP gets to see through a lot of very different eyes. To me that's a precious resource (and of course you are part of it too).