CE - I really think your letter is going to put your T in a no win situation. How is she supposed to prove to you that she won't take power from you by force? What kind of power is it that you are so afraid of losing. What would losing power mean to you? What would voluntarily giving up power vs having it taken by force look like?

It seems to me like you are trying really hard to back your T in to a corner where she has no choice but to just give in and say "fine, you win." How is that therapeutic? Why does it have to be a power struggle between you two. Wouldn't it be more therapeutic to work with T to find ways in which giving up your power feels safe and doesn't become a win/lose situation?

I used to have major issues with always needing to be in control. For me, it was actually a relief when I realized that at times I don't have to be. It's exhausting to always need to be in control and try to have power over all situations. Sometimes, you have to be willing to take that first step and say - I'm going to trust this person with being in control of this one thing.