((Hellion)), I am glad you didn't delete that post. The internal battle you are discribing is what I and many others who struggle with PTSD also go through, so it isn't "just you", it is really part of the disorder. And "yes" it is a challenge and there are often these moments where you just wish others realized what your challenge is, that is what all those who struggle with PTSD deal with. It is a part of the "why can't I just" anymore. It is important you discuss this in therapy if you are still working with a therapist, hopefully the therapist will "know" what you are talking about, if not then that is a clue they are not really well informed about PTSD.

Yes, this emotional battle that "others" don't understand is real and something you have to slowly learn how to "cope" with and stop "self blaming". It takes time, I still struggle with it myself, but as JD says, knowing what is the PTSD and who you are is important so you can learn to separate the two and work on "not self blaming" but understanding "why" you feel this and learn how to "self comfort" and "self sooth".
It does take time.