Trust is an important thing with a therapist and of you really don't trust this one maybe you need to find a different one.
However, I noticed in another of your threads that you were feeling a bit paranoid that people on the forum didn't like you (which I don't think is true- I like your posts even when I don't reply) so it makes me wonder if this not trusting your therapist is more of the same paranoia, same with the family, do you think your fears are rational or maybe part of the illness. Just a thought
Sorry you are feeling suicidal but as previously posted we often get like that and it really depends on how seriously your thoughts and plans are getting as to whether you need hospital and if they are serious then you really need to be kept safe.
Best wishes and