This sums it up really well for me as well.

I think my anxieties are because of my fear of being seen to be inadequate. So I feel afraid to try or afraid of exposing myself, my weaknesses. Perhaps it's sometimes about not being able to trust myself to cope in a difficult situation. I won't manage, I won't know what to do, I won't be able to do it.

My depression possibly covers the fact that I don't feel like I've ever been properly loved, cared about, and supported, and I now don't feel like an okay enough person to have those things. At the same time, it feels confusing to care about other people in that way (like T after our four years working together), but for it not to be reciprocated back in the same way. Am I really not good enough? I guess that's what my depression is about. Also it probably ties into my deep sense of hopelessness about the future. No matter how hard I try, I don't really think anything will ever be okay.