At this point my wife has indicated that the only reason she is not leaving is that she has no place to go. Technically that's not true - her mother lives a mile away alone in my wife's childhood home. Also, her brother lives less than a mile away. She doesn't get along with either all that well - she does in ways but certainly couldn't live with them without arguing all time.

Also, she takes great offense to me feeling she is a taker but has no problem not talking to me and saying she has left me but still driving the cars I pay for and spending my money otherwise. All this while apparently having left me while still living in the house.

So if we were to separate and/or divorce, how would that work? I'm not leaving my house - I've paid for it and do the work on it. My cars are all in my name. My wife has no income. We can't really pay all of our bills right now without a struggle so how could I fund two houses or afford attorneys? Even though she has no income, she spends many hours involved with schools through PTA and is a member of the school board which takes a lot of time. I'm still basically funding her philanthropic activities and allowing her to live a life volunteering and playing mahjong while we can't pay our bills. She of course does not get that which is part of the problem.

My oldest is 20 and in college so he's all set. The middle will be 18 in a few months and heading off to college so she's all set. The youngest is 14 so still has a few years and she is a quite shy person like me and I don't think she'd fare well with my wife and of course I have no problem with paying for whatever the kids need - I do it now and have no intention of not doing it.

I'm not sure how my wife would even afford an attorney - would I be paying for that too? I can't afford to pay one now even for me.