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Old Feb 19, 2013, 06:05 PM
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Lamplighter Lamplighter is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 929
Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue View Post
It seems to me that your reaction to your T's email is about much more than just the words in her email. From what you've said about her, it comes across that you have some festering discontent about the kind of therapy you receive from her.

A therapist who does so much talking and then talking about techniques that she never actually uses is a kind of therapist *I* would not be able to work with. I can listen to 'lectures' all day long and still I would not be accessing my inner emotional world and learning more and more about who I am.

So, is it possible that her email is triggering because of your suspicion that this T is not the best T for you? And there's a lot of grief of the loss of a therapist we've been seeing for a long time. And there's the fear, like you mentioned, of being unfixable. And so, deep grief and fear well up and just about topple our world.

But, believe this - we are all fixable. Don't lose faith in that. If you're attached to your therapist, tell her how you've been disappointed in her methods. And if it seems that the two of you end up not meshing well, then it's perfectly o.k to look for a T that can provide what you need.
Skyblue thank you - you've picked up very clearly on what's going on in the background here - you're right it isn't just the words of her email - they are just another example of what seems to be going wrong, or maybe better to say, what's not going right, in this therapy. And you've very astutely also picked up on the emotional bind I'm in - the grief of a potential loss (which is actually quite big in this case because of the depth and strength of my hopes and needs loaded onto this particular therapist as being the last in a long line), and the fear of being unfixable - so thank you for your faith that I'm not unfixable, right now I'm really struggling with that. Thanks
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Lamplighter used to be Torn Mind