Hello Button and thanks for your comments - I really like how you've pointed out that the whole 'walking on eggshells' thing can sometimes be an excuse for other people's negative actions towards us, that certainly resonates. It's easy to feel put down by it, because there's nearly always a negative connotation to it - as Anti said above, there are infinitely better and more supportive ways of saying similar things. The way my T worded it, made it all about her and came across very much as a criticism of me, or at best, an indifference to my existence and feelings in the matter and a focus on hers. Actually she already self discloses way too much for my liking and I suspect she believes that telling clients how they make her feel is somehow therapeutic and healing. Maybe for some, but not for me, and not in this dismissive and critical way... oh I'm getting into rant mode again, sorry.

How interesting that you use the word forgive in relation to my T - you know I don't think I'm actually angry at her, not in that righteous way that can involve forgiveness at the end. My anger feels much more like defensive frustration and hurt, and it's keeping me attached rather than allowing me to want to push T away. What a horrid state to be in. I both hate her and need her to make it all better - ack . But I do take your point, it's my anger keeping me stuck in these bad feelings, and you're right, she does seem willing to keep working with me, I should be grateful for that (and I suppose on some level I am, which is what allows me to feel angry rather than completely devastated and overwhelmed with self hate and self blame and self contempt.)

Thanks Button