sorry that email came off sounding so mad. i guess if your faith is to be true, it will be tried. I guess what I didnt say above was that i do believe in God, it just I feel so far from him and also those that could help me feel closer to him. Honestly.. cant explain it.. I dont undertand it. But im not giving up on my faith.. The challenge does add so much to my depression though which is why i posted here. Its so frustrating not finding a home where you used to (whether it be with a friend, family, or church community).