I just feel that anyone I spend time with must regret it and find me a nuisance. All came up as she offered me a Skype session whilst she is away. She spent the hour trying to make me realise that these are young feelings and to get me to talk about my parents. It was very overwhelming. We didn't say anything I didn't already know but the fact of making it conscious has really stirred things up. She reminded me that this is why I always feel I am a bad person. She kept saying this is what I felt like when I was young, but right now it's what I feel like now. The physical pain is just making everything ten times worse and with sleep not possible it's horrendous. If I was a crying person I would curl up and sob my heart out but unfortunately I'm having to learn how to do that as well and not quite there yet. Thanks you for the reply. It meant so much