You don't sound selfish at all Granite. That was an amazing post where you acknowledged the good and the bad things! After all the not so good stuff in your past, look at how much amazing and good stuff you have and you recognise it too. That is amazing and a huge achievement, even if you can't take it in right now. We're all sitting here able to type on computers or access the internet at the very least. We all have some good things in our life that many people in the world miss out on. It doesn't mean we can just switch off our own stuff though. I'm sure we all would if we could.