You guys win. My T said she didn't email back because she was following our "rule". She liked my emails and was happy about the baby, but thought it best for me that she didn't respond, even to say "congratulations" until my session. She reminded me that it was a mutual decision for MY benefit for her not to respond, because her responses often upset me. I told her I didn't like the rule anymore, but that I have to accept it because she said so. She nodded. I said I have to use radical acceptance and she agreed. So I said "this means you won't send me an email for my birthday, right?" She said yes, we'll celebrate your birthday in the session. I can still email her, and send her photos of my family.

I showed her my drawings about how upset I was, and I told her how I wanted to email her to respond, but I didn't, and I thought that was progress. She agreed that it was! I told her it hurts a lot because it shows "I'm your job" and she says she's doing it because she cares about me, not because she doesn't care.

Then, I had to talk about her fee but we settled that pretty quickly when she said that I could pay my same copay. I don't think she has any money problems. Her H has a good job too.

There wasn't much time to talk about anything else but I started about how I look, and how I'm not sure if I want to lose weight but I would like to be thinner again. She said to notice when I'm hungry, and eat when I am, not for other reasons. She can make SE about everything! We did a little SE about how I felt right then, at the end of the session. I told her about holding the heart she gave me, when I was away, and how I cried then. I told her I wanted to cry today, but I couldn't.

Someone asked me in my other thread if my T will allow me to see her when I'm through with T. She said "yes", I could always come back for sessions whenever I want to.

I feel sad but somewhat relieved too. She won't be wishy-washy anymore about emails. She still lets me hug her though I miss holding her hand an awful lot. I told her that. She took away a lot of good stuff but there's still a lot left. I emailed her that thought tonight. She and I still have a good relationship, built on trust and honesty. I feel good about the session even though I have to accept the email situation. It's tough love for my benefit. It's not just about email, so it's pretty important. It's about her being my T and not a friend or relative. It's my core issue so it's going to hurt!