Hello, I can tell you are having a rough situation, and I can certainly understand your unhappiness about this so-called marriage. It sounds like this man just doesn't like to stay with one woman for very long.

Have you been able to talk to him at all about your unhappiness? I gather, though, from what you think, that he wouldn't be too upset about it.....

Yes, the money situation is a problem, especially with two children by him to take care of. I agree with you that your best bet is to try to get a job. I know you haven't been able to yet, but please keep trying. If you can't get anything away from home, might you be able to earn some money by doing work from home? Think about your talents and skills. Once you get stable that way, then you would be able to live without his money.

In the meantime, we have places here where you can talk to people who understand what it's like to be alone and in bad relationships. And you can make some friends to talk to, so anything you say won't get back to your husband. We are here to listen and to provide support. Okay?

(Let me know if you have difficulty finding such places here. After 5 acceptable posts, you can join social groups, and those might be the best places to share.)

I know there are other people here who are divorced or who are in bad relationships. Maybe they will post soon, so you can begin having other people to talk with in this forum, too.