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Old Feb 20, 2013, 02:41 AM
Anonymous45023
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Hi and welcome!
It's a common misconception that hypomania/mania is just one big ol' pile of happy. Sometimes and to a point, it can be. It can also be sheer out of control hell. And off the charts irritability and rage. All kinds of out of control and out of character behavior that can cause mountains of un-doable actions to regret. "Up" is energy alright, but that's not always a good thing.

I can't really answer your question because... well, it's complicated. And would vary according to when you asked. For me it has changed over the years (about 25) for the worse. The depressions have become deeper and more intractable. The hypomanias have been less often and less fun. I've always had issues with temper, but now I recognize much of it comes with the hypomania. When impulse control basically goes out the window. Not a good combo. Just some months ago, I experienced a month-long intense mixed episode. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It was indescribably horrid. And really, it cannot be put into words, but imagine the energy of a tornado running on self-loathing. Soooo much energy. Sooo much ... ugh. <shudder> Unspeakably intense negative energy. That won't stop. It's beyond exhausting.

There are times when, sure, I could be bouncing around a room, laughing my *** off at nothing, thinking I'm a freaking genius. And if you asked me then... I'd say, "Yeah! It's great! Hahahahahahaha!" And I wouldn't be able to take seriously that it won't last forever like that. (Did I mention logic goes out the window as well?). If you saw me "up" in negative mode, you wouldn't even ask. NO ONE wants that.

Any of my "good stuff" comes at a VERY high price.

(Excellent answer Chupacabra --- I saw it after posting and just kept say, "yes, yes, like that!" Good job describing the indescribable.)
Thanks for this!
Chupacabra