Trippin, no dad is better than a ****** one in my opinion, I had a really really ****** dad and when I cut him out life was much better.

I know how you feel tho, I have had to make this choice with my children and it is really really not easy. My kids are happy with our life, they are old enough to remember except my youngest. I had them see a counselor so they could feel free to talk about it with a nuetral party, cause you never know ..they might not want to talk to mom about it. She saw them for a year and told me that despite what they have seen and been through they seem very happy, healthy and adjusted. I cannot say that would be the case if their father was in and out for the last 8 years that we have been on our own. The stories my oldest son told me about stuff that had happened when I would be at work, he never told me till after we left. I can't even think about it. Drug addicts are not exactly best at making good choices for themselves let alone another small human.

You would never hand Jordan over to an unpredictable drug addict if it were just some random, and being her DNA father does not grant automatic immunity. You actually have to be present to be a parent.. in mind and body.

Lock box sounds like a really good idea.

Breathe and follow your instincts. I'm sorry I know how hard it is, my ex turned up a few times. You can get through this. and that is a super lame excuss to dissapear on your child for a few years!!! He would be like a stranger at this point. Don't feel bad about it, better to have one good parent who can show you love and guide you through life than to have to go through that.