I think I've asked this before, but that was aaaaages ago, so I'll just ask again:

Does anyone have a problem in which they actively force themselves to avoid sleep for as long as possible, almost to the the point of hypnophobia being plausible?

This has been an issue since I was a baby, and I'm 26 now, with more trouble than ever with it. Anything can kick it into action, but it's usually always related to my MH stuff. Regardless of reason, I force myself to stay awake and HATE sleep, so much that I've had really bad sleep deprivation before which caused me to hallucinate and develop all sorts of unpleasant paranoias... I had severe difficulty with going near water, and having a bath.. wow.. I felt like I was drowning or.. like.. it's embarrassing, albeit funny, but lets just say that I struggled with water submersion. The damage from that particular period in my life was for a good few years permanent and was incredibly difficult to shake. I still haven't fully recovered from it, TBH. I will often stay up for 24-30 (sometimes more) hours, and sleep, then do it again the next day, then sleep, sometimes hardly any sleep, then do it yet again, and so on... and this behavior is on and off for years... well... been like this since I was a kid, really.. as with a lot of my problems.

So yeh, just wanna know if I'm alone on this or not, and whether anyone has anything to add, OTHER THAN to go see a doctor and yadda yadda.. 'cause, I know you might mean well, but that doesn't help.. and I'm not looking for a doctor, I'm looking for moral support/understanding/opinions, etc. :P

Fanks for any replies!