I am so sorry that you had to go through all of those years being treated that way! You are a very strong woman to endure such mistreatment! You deserve much better! I pray that you will be done with everything very soon and that you are awarded bountifully for what you endured!

I am at the 1 1/2 yr mark of a divorce as well after 20 yrs. my time married was nothing like yours. We endured our children causing problems, parents getting sick and taking care of them and them passing. To be quite honest I don't know what happened. What brought it about was, he hit me. I made it plan to him, early on in the relationship, if he ever layed a hand on me like that, it was done. I know now, though, at some point in the last 10 yrs, he
and my "best friend" decided they had the hots for each other. I didn't find this out until almost a yr later (after he hit me). My "so called friends" and wonderful family, never said a word. Pieces started falling into place....his guilt was getting the best of him. Instead of him having balls enough to tell me....he hit me because he knew I would not stand for it, oh, not to mention he threatened to kill me. I did not, nor do I now want a divorce. I'm still crushed over everything....I have no support system. He has taken that away. He turned "my own kids" against me. (he had 2, I had 3. I raised his as my own, he treated mine as lesser than his) he ran to my son to tell "his side", to get him angry at me! I have no clue what he has told, his lies are outrageous. My daughters know what happened because I told them. They come back at me a few months later to say,"what he said makes more sense". So the good Lord only knows what really happened and whose telling the truth. I have not tried to convince them of anything. Anyway, I know there is no going back, but, I'm having a really hard time going forward...I have a settlement meeting in one week.....it's not going to be pretty. He had NOTHING when we met....his paycheck was $70....his mother charged him $50 to watch his kids... He owed everyone everything....horrible credit...garnishments, etc...now...he has MY kids, grand kids, the house (of which he locked me out of) and is trying to half of my inheritance and everything else....I don't know how I didn't see him for who he is for 20 yrs!! but still, I'm still crushed and very heart broken.....I lived a lie for 20 yrs, and poured everything I had into "a lie"!! I've got to be the biggest schmuck that ever lived.

Good luck to you, I hope you find the love and happiness that you deserve!! And you do deserve to have the very best of it all!! :-). Hugs!!