Well, I'm 15 years old, around the middle class, and in the 10th grade of high school and these feelings have been getting worse and worse.
My doctor says that I have an above average case of Dysthymia and ADD, and I have been prescribed to different doses of Adderall & Buproprion, he has been trying to find the right dosage for me but cannot find one. I have major sleeping problems as well, have been having them for several years now. My doctor also tried prescribing me to Trazodone, but the first day I tried it I got a major headache and felt like I had a hangover for the whole day. I have been having huge sleep deficits every day of my life since around the start of October 2012. The major part of this, that I am worried most about, is that I am not going to school quite often. I literally just can't get out of bed, and sometimes when I get the willpower to do that, I get ready and everything but just don't end up going. My parents know about this but they have no idea what to do with me. They take away my cellphone, my computer & Xbox, but it has no effect on me. My grades are suffering, and I'm worried real bad because I want to go to college and I know school is good for me but I just can't find it inside me to go for like half of the days. I'm also afraid that Social Services will come to my house and solve this problem with brute force.
I've spent days and days thinking and trying to find the root to this problem, but I cannot seem to find it. I do not get bullied at school, I never have. I have a lot of friends at school, and a lot of them are worried about me when I don't go to school and when they ask me why, on a day that I do go, I just have to make up an excuse to not seem like a lazy slob who just doesn't feel like/can't go to school.
I do play a good amount of video games. I love playing them on my free time. This was the first thing I thought as the root of the problem. Wanting to solve it immediately, I stopped playing them. I haven't for 3 months now but nothing has changed, it has gotten even worse.
I don't know what to do, and am on the verge of just breaking down because I just can't take it anymore. I feel like my life is a waste, and would rather just not be here because everything just feels to hard for me right now. I know people say that things get better, that I'm just a teen and teens emotions are normally unstable, but this is too much. This isn't an average teen going through puberty. I'm so worried about myself. I have ran out of things to try to make things better. I know I probably sound pretty weak right now, not wanting to live or anything but I really cannot take it.
Killing myself has crossed my mind, but I know I won't do it.
I'm so fed up with this. I decided to turn to Yahoo Answers. Any help/advice would be really helpful.
If you managed to read up to here, I thank you for your time.