thank you

your friend may not be able to help what she is doing. part of being depressed is basically feeling the same feelings that come with being an abuse victim like feeling helpless, the world is out to get me because nothing goes right for me, everyone telling me to get over it, snap out of it so they dont understand what I hve gone through, the least negaitive comment does feel like being victimized.

And also I had a best friend all my life from 4th grade to adulthood and neither one of us realized the other had been going through physical, sexual and or emotional abuse all those years when we were basically "joined at the hip" type friends. We found out that each other had gone through abuse one day when she showed up to a workshop that I was working on and was a guest speaker at. After the workshop we sat down together and it was just amazing all the things that went on right before each others eyes but because we had both been in the same situation we didn't pay any attention to what was happening, for us it was normal what was going on because that was how we were raised. so please don't assume you know EVERYTHING there is to know about your friend. Give her the benefit of you caring about her. You probably know yourself what it is like when people don't believe in what you are saying so lets through out the window that you don't believe she is a victim only she knows that and focus on the fact that she isn't there for you right now.

She may not be there for you right now because her problems are more than she can handle so taking on someone elses problems may and could send her over the edge.

So you know you can't depend on her right now. Sit down and brainstorn - write down the names of all your friends, physicians, therapy professionals and so on and start putting your efforts to help yourself thier way.

One way you could start is what I did. I contacted each of my friends and said "I am making out an emergency list of people that can help me in an emergency, The people on this list will be people I contact just to talk, or when I am in crisis mode be it mental or physical, would you like to be on that list and what can you offer me by being on that list"

Then when you have the list completed you will know what type of problems you can take to which friend and or specialist so that you will not have to worry again about having no one to go to when you are feeling like you are now.

Hang in there.