I've been in therapy for about a year now and the thing is that I didn't think there was anything wrong with me when I first started. I was forced to attend therapy because of the disruptions my psychotic break was causing.... But you see, I was never psychotic.... I faked it, and Bipolar, and Major Depressive Disorder, Dissociative Identity Disorder, OCD, BPD, NPD, Anti-Social Personality Disorder and numerous others. I would like to apologise if anyone is offended by this behavior, it is not and never was my intention to cause harm. I had two psychiatrists and a psychologist and I've been in a psychiatric ward twice under false pretenses (feigned suicide attempt). I chose to continue therapy when I realised how strange my behavior was and decided that something was wrong with me. I'd also broken up with my girlfriend who I suppose would be labeled as my first love, I am only seventeen, and that left me extremely empty. I'm just nothing anymore, I'm not happy or sad, angry or anything. I'm never suicidal and my self-esteem is indifferent, though sometimes unnaturally high. It's been seven months since I've confessed and tried to be completely honest about all of this, and they've all come back saying that they don't know what's wrong nor what to do. It kind of annoys me because I find myself constantly falling into old habits and pretending again, but it's becoming so real for me that it's like I'm trying on different masks, and they're all real. So I'm just wondering if anyone has any ideas as to what all of this could possibly be a symptom of.
Sorry for being so long, I find it hard to shorten it in anyway without missing out important things. Again, sorry for any offence and I hope this wasn't too much to read.