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Unfortunately, I always feel this way, even when manic. Even when I'm feeling like a super genius I still also feel like a complete loser. It's very strange....
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I thought that I was the only one! I'm exactly like that when I'm manic; I think that I'm amazing, yet a loser who's not worth anyone's time simultaneously. It's weird. :/
I'm really sorry that you've been bullied. I wish that people irl treated you better. You deserve better.