Yes, of course I believe in being 'authentic', I say to my therapist. I mean, who can argue with such a beautiful term? Isn't "authentic" close to the meaning of "honesty", "realness", "purity" and all other positive wonderful attributes?

But, T, I need to explore more with you the MEANING of authenticity. Really, can you be more clear what it IS?

You see, I suspect I may be confusing the word 'authenticity' with my natural inclination towards selfishness. Everyone jumps on the bandwagon of AUTHENTICITY and geez, I wanna jump on too.

BUT, a nagging question keeps dogging me. What if I am using the idea of 'striving for my authentic self' to actually fulfill my most selfish desires?

Do I 'know' my authentic self, T, by paying attention to what 'feels good'? So, if I like the feeling, if the feeling is pleasant, is that a sign that this points me to 'authenticity'?

And, as i understand it, authenticity is the best way to live, right?

But, by using that standard, what 'feels good' may not necessarily be the way to determine authenticity, I'm wondering.

For example, if it feels good to me to eat junk food, if I groove on the barbecue potato chips instead of a salad, is that how I should determine how I should eat? It DOES feel good - the crunchy spicy sensation of chips in my mouth.

So, please, T, explain to me better WHAT exactly is my authentic self and HOW specifically to identify it.

And, if any of you guys on PC have some thoughts on this i would greatly appreciate it. I am contemplating a HUGE life change (HUGE is too small of a word to describe it) based partly on my quest to live authentically.