Thank you so much to everyone. I didn't think that there would be this many replies.

It makes me sad to think that such illnesses can cause people to drop out of college or stop working because my depression has gotten so bad that I'm in that possition right now. I can't take it. There's absolutely nothing I can do.

Today I felt awful. I hate class. Everyone is so happy. I accept it kind of.. I can't just walk out of class because I have no where to go.. No better options.. I'm contantly monitored on everything I do.. I'm never alone and I hate it.. I need a very long break but surely that won't work..

I skipped work again. I'm going to tell my parents for the 20th time, I need to quit work. They insist that I stay.. This time it's for real.. I need to.. I can't live like this and everyone thinks that I can. I tried so hard and it's even harder to tell people that don't understand. "send him to boot camp".. I'm not misbehaving. If I was sent there, I would do as I'm told like always..

I used to care about money. Now it's worthless. I don't eat anymore. I substitute for coffee.. There is no god.. (in my point of view. Please don't get offended..) so I really wouldn't mind if I died..

I wish I could get supported in MY choices.. I want to take lower classes. People get angry and say "you're so smart! Why?! What the hell is wrong with you?" how can even explain that? I hate how people confuse depression with laziness.. Because I did.. I thought mental illnesses were just excuses. I used to say "teenagers don't get mental illnesses. They're just making excuses! It's because they have a crappy life that's making them think that they have "depression". I thought that about myself as well.. I have many life and family problems. It also something else that's for sure..

If anyone hasn't posted yet, feel free to do so. Right now I do believe the opposite of what I might have thought relating to the subject.