Given your background and the little about yourself that you shared, I think a Christian counselor is fine. First of all if they are truly a practicing psychologist they are committed to confidentiality. I would also be careful about painting all christians with the same brush. Yes there are narrow minded Christians in the world who are judgmental. There are also many non-christians who are likewise narrow minded and extremely biased. Some one who shares your background is probably more likely to understand where you are coming from and the issues with your family. What matters also is the credentials of the therapist you chose. There are people out there with little or no formal training in psychology who masquerade as therapists.

In my experience, I have found the Christian therapists that I have seen as much more caring and affirmative, than those who were totally secular. I was never ever given the hard sell. In fact one of the reasons I decided to investigate christian faith again after being awol for more than 20 years was the compassion and help I received from a Christian counselor, who never once tried to sell me his faith.

I am sure there are multiple perspectives on this. Gender and Sexuality are complicated issues. Even though I happen to be very feminine most of the time I have in my circle of acquaintances people who are all over the map. One of my friends at work is female, but has a strong inclination toward masculine view points. I think we need to stop putting people into boxes and labeling them gay, lesbian, straight, trangendered, etc. Human sexuality spreads across a wide range. Just be whoever you are and do not let people box you in or label you.