I'm coming in late on this discussion, but I still have my opinion.

Rhapsody, I think the discussion with your husband and your son and his friend is an excellent idea. Make sure you keep it educational and not demeaning. I think you know how to do that, and why it needs to be that way, considering what your background in this area is.

Young men that age DO think about girls and sex and all that, of course! Their hormones are going 100 mph. I support you in that it IS NOT good for them to be using the porn in any form, to satiate their desires. You've stated, and know, all those reasons, and I agree.

If you have a faith, then certainly include that, as God has a definite opinion about this. Young men need to know that God does weigh in on how they mature, also.

I wouldn't allow the computer in a bedroom. Not at that age even. (Sorry folks, parents need to know what teens are doing on the computer.)

What I would suggest is to create a list of options (you and your spouse decide what choices you will give) to offer your son (and his friend, if applicable.) This way, you are helping them learn to discuss things as adults, yet accepting the fact that they aren't adults just yet.
In all of life there are options, there are choices. Being mature means making the better choices.

What do you think?