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TL;DR any of the responses but I did read the original post.
Everyone desires what they perceive as perfect... What is "perfect" is often what we cannot have because we idealise things until they become reality & we are able to properly process their flaws.
So it's perfectly normal & not awful of you to be having fantasies of being with someone other than your current partner. And I admire you for not choosing to cheat on her. But you can either take these desires as a sign to end something that isn't working or as a sign to improve the bond!
That choice is yours & yours alone -- And neither choice is better than the other. But a lot of what makes relationships work is finding a partner whose flaws or downfalls are compatible with our own. It seems like yours, at least from what you describe, are very incompatible with hers & that is a major source of unrest.
Hopefully this message finds you well & closer to coming to a positive resolution.
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