thanks bill.

volunteering sounds fun. the local church group does that but seems the girls are all in the college age, and I'm 31. Besides I am bad about speaking up in groups.. I remember going on a church hike a few years ago and had trouble really connecting with anyone.. even though there were a dozen girls there. Some even engaged ME first and asked me so many questions. I was like ummmm ok?

Regarding the cutting and girls with prior abuse. The one I did try to date she became very toxic to me and was very triggering to me as well. We just ended up triggering each other's insecurities and alot of arguing ensued. She had control & fighting issues. The arguing was just overboard.

So I really feel the need for a peaceful, stable girl. That is just what I need at this point in life. Someone peaceful to come home to.