I don't know what exactly brings me here.

I have self-diagnosed myself with depression. Based on what I have read online about symptoms of depression and the fact that within the last several months I have had several people tell me that I seem to be depressed lately.

I am 29 years old, I have been divorced for almost 5 years and have not dated anyone in that time. I work a dead-end 3rd shift factory job. Over the last several months I have come to realize that I have no friends in my life. I have co-workers that I converse with while at work but rarely if at all outside of that. The only person in my life that I talk to on a regular basis is my ex-wife but lately I feel like I can't even talk to her because I feel like when I do I'm just bothering her and she just puts up with it because she feels sorry for me. Basically my life for the last several months has been: go to work, go home and sleep for 12-14 hours, get up and go back to work. Days that I don't have to work I'll sleep 16-18 hours. I've been drinking a lot more than ever before in my life. I know that it isn't helping anything, but it numbs everything so that I don't have to think about everything going on in my life. I've always been shy, and meeting people/making new friends has always been really really hard for me. Just the very idea of starting a conversation with a random stranger terrifies me.

I don't have the extra money to seek any kind of professional/medical help so I guess that's why I'm turning to the internet. I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors, I just got home from working 12 hours and have already started drinking.

I'm not really expecting any kind of help from this.....and I'm fairly certain that I already have been told all of the advice that I'll recieve from here (if I even get any). But what the hell....can't hurt to try this out I guess.