Well, being bothered by light and noise are also PTSD symptoms. I am not surprised that a different therapist thought about Autism either because PTSD symptoms and the anxiety and concentration challeges even anger of Autism are very similar. I think that it would be in your best interest to see if infact you are dealing with some Autism. I am not sure how that is diagnosed either, maybe do some online research on that Hellion.

JD is right about PTSD being like the subconscious mind dumped out into a confusing pile of pieces where it takes time to sort it all out. That is why there is such a desire to find some kind of quiet and safe environment with no stress so that time can be spent on sorting it all out. It is very common to feel like there is now some kind of "lost identity" and also not knowing "what you can be in the future or have a sense of a life path". Also if you have people around you that are "disfunctional" as well, the challenge can even be harder. Some of the troubling thought patterns you are discribing here about your family members "not acknowledging you or hearing you" could be the "disfunctional" way they are in general which is part of the challenge you had to begin with. That is what I had to see myself, while there was alot that I did know, what I didn't know is how it affected me in unhealthy ways. If you are in a family where everyone talks over each other and no one knows how to "listen" and acknowlege others, then yes, the result is not knowing how to communicate with others in a way where you feel you can be heard and connect with others.

You know Hellion, one of the huge problems we have as a society overall is our genuine lack of knowledge about how to raise children and how to have a healthy functioning family relationship. Parents tend to constantly order children around or not know how to truely raise children and develope a genuine "relationship" which their children where they take time to "listen to their children". And it is only getting worse because both parents are working and "family life" is barely even there for children. Parents often get self absorbe with "their challenges and issues" and they don't pay attention to their children in healthy ways. What happens all the time is the scenario you discribe where here you are with problems, problems you have dealt with for a long time and yet no real parental figure there to actually "listen" and make it a point to see to it that your teachers understood you and you were heard in your environment.

We have this society now that tends to "need" and that "need" is now so great that there is a big desire now for our "government" to fill that void. When I raised my daughter, "I" had to know how to "listen" to her and then I learned she struggled with dislexia and then I had to (knowing my own child's special needs) take the time to discuss her with every teacher she was exposed to. Also what I noticed is that because we have so many ways to "contain children" or "keep them busy" with Television and playpens and daycare and babycariers and gates and countless electronic toys, we have also been taking away from children the "contact" they need to grow and flourish.

Back in the 60's I believe it was, an experiment was done with a monkey where he was only given a metal cold figure for a mother and "nothing warm and nurturing". Then after that monkey grew up he was put in with other monkeys that had normal nurturing and he could not "interact or connect" and he was very stressed out, so much so that he had to be taken away from the community and put back in his own little "cold world".

Well, Hellion, on many levels we have been doing just that with our children as we find "things" to contain them and keep them busy while a mother does other things around the house. Infact, the other thing we are doing is giving our children computers and phones so again, they are actually being overstimulated with "things" and they actually don't have much "alone or quiet time and often lack the needed contact time with parents". The other thing we have been doing is putting children, young children, babies really, in day cares, where they are just a number of many handled by people who are "not the parent" and in that, something "big" is missing.

There is actually a growing number of people who are disfunctional now, as I have mentioned many times, this is clearly seen in the Relationship Forum and the Depression Forum.

I was constantly told I "spoiled" my child and I was often looked "down upon" because I chose to be an "at home mother" instead of doing the daycare and having a career. I did build a business around being a mother, I spent most of my earnings on my child and because of that my "priorities" were always questioned. And all along the way I watched "THINGS" become the priority to people. And it got so bad that unless these "things" had some kind of "designer" name to them and "cost alot" I was not considered "to have importance or value". So what I began to see is a "colder" society where "owning things" were the "priority" to value in life.

I am from a different generation than you Hellion, and while I have my challenges, I tend to have the ability to "empathize" with you based on what I have seen and experienced in my life. And because I chose to actually be a "mother" I do often see what is "missing" that so many other people "don't". My daughter is very "outgoing" and has the ability to set goals and even work around her dislexia, and she has good comunication skills too. However, she does struggle with "relationships" as well because, she is "not the norm". She is well respected and often a "draw" for others because of the way she has "self confidence", however, often what others seem to want from her is, for her to fill the void they have that they don't understand.

I didn't mean to get off the beaten path here, but what I see of "your challenge" is common, more common than you realize. Sigh....right down to trying to have a "therapist" that "gets you". So, what will help you Hellion, is your learning to recognize what you "didn't get" and slowly learn to finally put the pieces you struggle with together and that "can" happen when you are able to slowly fill in the "blanks"
where you begin to realize that some of the personal challenges you have with "communication" with others, even how others have "bullied" you, isn't really "your lack or worth" often it is because "others" have a lack. The more you learn to recognize this, the more that "void" will get filled because you will actually learn how to be more "self aware" and "self nurturing" inspite of whatever lack there is in others. This really does take time to understand.