do not have insurance to pay for therapists, or enough income/cash to do the sliding scale therapists either.

Besides, I want to tackle this on my own if possible.

So far I've made lists of goals every day such as "will go out and meet 3 new girls today in real-life situations." or "will go do weights today for an hour"

Sticking to these is proving difficult. rather than getting up at 6am as in my goal list, I sleep til 10 and cannot get out of the comfort zone of the warm bed.

I procrastinate and watch youtube and so on, and daydream and drawn to anything that is an "escape."

Then when I do go out somewhere, I internalize so much when I see a cute girl.. "omg what should I say... her co-worker or friend is next to her... she is wearing headphones and therefore not approachable... how do I disarm her shields she will put up... how do I get her number or give her mine.... how do I find out if she is single without asking directly...will she think I'm too old or a stalker.. "

So as you see this is a very frustrating process for me.

Not sure if it is nurture or nature. never had a high school sweetheart, was late in the game in college (first kiss was at 20), my 20s I spent stuck in the above mindset, and the few I was "intimate" with were ones I met online.