Well I know for sure that I have some sort of bipolar with psychosis involvement. But for years I have been trying to figure out why I seem to have random and contradictory symptoms of Asperger's and ADHD.

For example, I have special interests but I can read non-verbal cues like a hawk. I am hyperactive but I can pay attention.

I have a new CBT therapist and at least for the obsessional interests she thinks that is being caused not by autism but is a side effect of high IQ. Now I know the numbers I had during my childhood testing were higher than normal, but this lady thinks it's higher than that now.

For example, as a child my obsessional behavior was encouraged by the school and my grandma, but when I learned it could be a sign of autism I tried to hide it as an adult. I even try to hide that I am supposidly smart, but everyone and seriously everyone ends up saying stuff to me like "wow, you're smart!" the therapist said that to me first session.

So what do I do? I did research and discovered official testing is expensive, I'm thinking about going through Mensa, they have cheaper testing. Online tests are inaccurate.

Right now my mental illness has reached a point of stability that I have not had in years. I need to figure out if I can go back to college someday.

But what do I tell people if the test says I'm very smart?