Adam please be careful. Being distrustful or your wife is not a good sign. Neither is her texting anyone while at lunch w/ you. If she got defensive there is a reason. Hopefully it is just that he texted her and she knew that alone would be enough to make you less then happy.

Why has she not put her foot down w/ this other man. Well there are two options I see. Sit down honey, she is keeping contact because she is insecure in your relationship. She may not be doing anything wrong and has no intention of doing anything wrong but he is the saftey net. When the do do hits the fan if you decide to leave then she has an option. Think goodness the dodo just hit the fan and you are still here w/ her. That is a good sign. That tells her alot about where you guys stand.

OR I could be completely wrong and she is the passive agressive type. That is what it sounds more like to me. She's definiately ignore things and see how the chips fall. She may not be returning his calls or making contact w/ him. She could just be trying to avoid hurting him not because she has feelings for him but just because that is how she is. She sounds like she is a caring individual.

I hope this helps some. I'd continue t keep an eye on her. Have you guys ever discussed what your boundries are concerning cheating. It doesn't necessarily involve bed room stuff. I have told my H if he has to have lunch w/ a female work related person then I get that, I'm ok w/ that if he tells me in advance. If it is worth hiding then it is an issue. He doesn't want me dining w/ any other man for any reason. I admited to him I saw a man at hardies eating alone, he was from our church, and me and the kids went over and sat and ate w/ him. He was angry but when I told him eating alone is terrible, especially if there are people you know there. He understood and changed his mind. If I see someone I know that is male I can't just be ride and I don't expect him to be rude to a female we know either. HE had dinner w/ a freind of mine. She was at a nice sit down resturant alone and he was alone, so they ate together. I'm glad that is what a friend should do. She called me when she got home and told me. WHen he got home he told me. That is trust. If you all have not had that conversation maybe you should.

We have since had to update our "What constitutes an affair" conversation. Since we now have a computer in the house. Neither of us have an issues w/ chats and things that involve the opposite sex. But personal discussions and exchanging of e-mail addresses or phone numbers, along w/ taking about things of a sexual nature in a wrong kind of way is the equal of cheeeting we both agree.

OK enough of me , this is about you guys.

I hope things work out alright for you guys. Keep an eye on your wife, hopefully she is tellling you the truth. I hope the issues you are having w/ the student loans make you rely even more on one another and it proves to you what you have together will stand the test of time.