Thanks, I feel divorce would let me go on with life, instead of worrying. The no sex triggers other problems, like trust, deepens my depression. I feel unwanted, undesired, it worsens my feelings of worthlessness. It destroys my self esteem. It just triggers too many thoughts, why does he masturbates to this and this, does he likes someone in his classroom that looks like that(he is not working, he went back to college).
He is not getting help, he is not taking his meds, neither am I, but I'm trying to get the help. He does not want any professional help.
We just talked about it, and for the first time he said we will have sex and that he would stop masturbating. Here is the thing, that will only trigger the stalker in me to go nuts on his every move.
It's too much! I also feel it will be weird because he got tired of me sexually, he is not attracted. It's just weird and I don't want it like that.
I don't really want a divorce but I don't want any of that either.

With the baby, sometimes he snaps at them for no reason but I don't think he would hurt them, other than emotionally. It's just that our newborn has lots of boogers and she can't breathe properly, we constantly suck them out but some feedings get done with her having trouble to breathe. When he props it, he is around but it stresses me out that she could choke, I mean we been right next to her and without us noticing our toddler puts her blanket over her face, making it more difficult for her to breathe. Luckily since we always have an eye on them we handled it well, but is so very tiring!