Adam I feel so badly for you. You do seem to have alot of bad things happening at once.

I can so see you headed where me and my H were/are, whatever. Phone sex, is sex in my opinion. One can commit emotional infadility as well. I am not saying your wife has a right to do what she is doing as far as not being honest w/ you. But being in an abusive relationship at some point makes normal people do things that don't seem so normal to others. Like lie ing, or hiding the truth even when there is noting to hide.

I doubt you are like my H and gave her a reason to to feel she has no choice but to be less then honest. You seem like you have her best interest at heart. It sounds like she has lots of issues and needs to go to T. If sounds like it might be of some benefit to you as well. Maybe you guys do need marriage T. You know it's not the worst thing in the world. Sooner rather then later. Before all kinds of emotional damage is done.

It sounds like you have a right to be suspisious of what she is doing. Between phone calls, texts and computers, there are alot of things that are discrete that can lead folks astray. Don't be nieve but be a realist to. Watch, listen, pay close attention. Maybe even consider T.

Again Adam I am so sorry this is happening to you. It hurts me to see you guys in this place. I can totally relate and I know it is terrible for you, but is most likely no cake walk for her either.