Adam I do feel for you. I know you are going threw absolute torture right now. Neither of you are guilty for not dealing w/ depression. It is not about guilt is is about fear of acknowledgement. If you don't say it then it is not true, if she is incapable of being sensitive to it then sure you don't want to discuss it. I'm sure she loves you, she wants to be sensitive but is most likely afraid. (not of you,the trauma and the pain it has caused) It's not really a conscious choice.

As for you thinking it is wrong to let her be the glue that holds you together, maybe a T would say that, I don't know, and I don't know where you got that idea, but I think it is great and a good thing that she is your glue. Isn't that we are married for, to hold each other together. Sometimes if you can't do it for you then do it for someone else. What ever it takes to keep you safe. Your wife wants you around, and I want you around and so does everyone else here at PC.