Thank you both for responding. Bete, I try to just keep myself happy by doing the things I love, but I still get lonely. I'll take your advice as hope that it gets better. I guess I'm scared because at this age, this is the most approachable that I will ever be.

And Wired, thank you for the sentiment, but I honestly don't believe that people who want to be there for their children would ever do something so selfish. She even blamed me for it because if I wasn't so "difficult" and if i took care of here, then she wouldn't have done it. My sister died three years ago, so she should be happy to still have me and wouldn't want to put me through another familial death. I've identified the relationship as unhealthy and have severed ties with her until she becomes mentally stable. She said that she "agreed that we should take a break" (like you can ever take a break from parenthood). All of this has shown me that she doesn't care to support me the way a mom should. It will be okay, though. I just need to find people in my life who do love me.

I think that I will in a few years. Until then, I'll just have to make sure that I don't let my loneliness get too out of hand. Thanks again for the responses <3