i don't think you're being unrealistic.

i'm not sure if i've ever been in love. i thought i was twice with ex girlfriends, but as i'm nearly 30 when i look back my view is changing about how things were.

there's a book that i read and in it the author defined love as he saw it, and his definition made a lot of sense to me, and it is now my reference point and gives me hope that i am actually capable of being in love with someone in a healthy relationship. the book is called The Road Less Travelled, by M. Scott Peck. i'd recommend it.