I think in a healthy relationship you have to give your SO their freedom. Telling them you can't hang out with friends is akin to saying I don't trust you to be alone and I have to babysit your actions.

I think it is possible for a man to love a women like you propose, but being a male we think about other people. I think our brains are wired to desire healthy, attractive women. I don't think there is a man that can deny what they consider beautiful because they are in a relationship with someone. I think it's quite possible for someone to want another person more than anyone else. Be it just based on looks, or based on their experiences with another person. I think the latter is more feasible.

I do feel everyone can control their actions. I think it is expected for a monogamous relationship that a person is only intimate (physically and emotionally) with you. A person choices to be faithful to another. I think you have to acknowledge what you find attractive and be at piece with it. I think you have to find a SO that you feel attracted to, otherwise the physical attraction won't be there.

I think driving someone wild comes from a connection and trust you build over time. I think you learn what your partner enjoys and you keep exploring to keep it exciting. After being in a relationship for 8 years, one does tend to get bored at times. On both sides from my experience. I think you have to keep exploring to keep it exciting, otherwise it become mechanical. I think talking honestly and openly about what you want/enjoy it works best. Sometimes you should push the envelope.