Well I have not been on here in a while becuase I was doing pretty good, but of course Im not so sure anymore. I'm on something to promote positive mood, but nothing that does too much(pill). I was doing pretty good for say 2 months.

Now I feel like Im alone alot and I feel really loney and well tired. I dont want to do anything anymore. I dont want to talk to anyone about it, yet I want someone to relise "hey she isnt doing too well". I have thoughts of suicde again. I dont want to and feel like I wont do it, but it scares me that I even think about it. I even know what I would do, but I dont want to hurt my friends and family they dont deserve that.

I just feel like Im making problems for myself, yet everything just feels so real. I know Im not alone yet everything seems to far away. I know people care and I want to care about myself, yet I dont FEEL that way.

I dont know what to do. I just want to have the normal teenager problems, but Im not too sure what those are exactly. Everything feels like its an extreme. Really happy or really sad. Or no feeling at all. Does that ever end? Or is that normal? Im just not too sure and I dont know who too ask.